Saturday, July 09, 2011

Game Of Throbs

I'm watching a lot of this "Game Of Thrones" show right now and I'm not going to lie to you - I love it. Was an ill child's final wish that somebody would make the perfect cruddy soap opera fantasy porno? It must have been, because this HBO series has all the earmarks of the books I that permanently ruined me as a member of sports-enjoying society - it has valiant acts of sacrifice, intrigue, whoring, barbarians and magic. I haven't read the books they are based on, because I have developed a late-in-life paper allergy, but I'm going to guess this is what awaits us in season 2:
- Hundreds of unsimulated, crusty HJs
-A dragon making out with a 'little dude'
- King demands people listen to him but refuses to listen to people. Why kings gotta be like that? That's kings, eh?!
-A talking sword flirts with a cup.
- An old man acts like he's seen it all. Really he's just a little boy inside. We go inside him "Three Kings" style and see the little boy, who is clearly grossed out from being inside an old man.
- Genocide, patricide, regicide, fratricide, ratricide, gatricide, matricide, Gattaca, batricide and child hitting are all rendered entertaining when done with British accents and in the case of Peter Dinklage, "Jeremy Irons meets Alan Rickman" voice.
-The overuse of the phrase 'I can. And I will.' shall continue.
- We will meet the character "Kal Doggo" - a dog man barbarian. Arf!

No comments: