Thursday, July 21, 2011

Late 2010 Interview

A glimpse into my late 2010 end of Brutal Knights mindstate.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hamburger Time

Thanks to everyone who came and had fun at the Neil Hamburger shows. Comedy Bar, Casbah and Starlight Room are all run by good folk. No thanks to people in Toronto who think "Neil Hamburger wants people to heckle him and anyone else involved in his show". If you're going to use that as a rock solid argument, you're wasting my time and also you're wasting the human body you inhabit. That's not the thing. Luckily, that is a tiny group of fools - the majority of people at the shows were there for the laughs.

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Game Of Throbs

I'm watching a lot of this "Game Of Thrones" show right now and I'm not going to lie to you - I love it. Was an ill child's final wish that somebody would make the perfect cruddy soap opera fantasy porno? It must have been, because this HBO series has all the earmarks of the books I that permanently ruined me as a member of sports-enjoying society - it has valiant acts of sacrifice, intrigue, whoring, barbarians and magic. I haven't read the books they are based on, because I have developed a late-in-life paper allergy, but I'm going to guess this is what awaits us in season 2:
- Hundreds of unsimulated, crusty HJs
-A dragon making out with a 'little dude'
- King demands people listen to him but refuses to listen to people. Why kings gotta be like that? That's kings, eh?!
-A talking sword flirts with a cup.
- An old man acts like he's seen it all. Really he's just a little boy inside. We go inside him "Three Kings" style and see the little boy, who is clearly grossed out from being inside an old man.
- Genocide, patricide, regicide, fratricide, ratricide, gatricide, matricide, Gattaca, batricide and child hitting are all rendered entertaining when done with British accents and in the case of Peter Dinklage, "Jeremy Irons meets Alan Rickman" voice.
-The overuse of the phrase 'I can. And I will.' shall continue.
- We will meet the character "Kal Doggo" - a dog man barbarian. Arf!

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Put Me On Your Podcast

The photo above is from a recent appearance on "The Best Show On WFMU" - a radio show that is also PODCASTED. It is a great show, thus it also must be a great podcast.
It didn't get cancelled after I was graciously allowed on the show. In fact it has arguably become even more famous since my appearance. What I'm trying to say: put me on your podcast and good things will happen. Yes, I am threatening you. With good things.


Wednesday, July 06, 2011

I Hosted Something.

What is that something you ask? Oh, just a freaking RIB EATING CONTEST.

Shoutouts to Guy Alaimo!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Heave Ho

I have read on the social media outlets that a premium DVD for The Best Show On WFMU with Tom Scharpling(a radio show on which I had the pleasure of appearing) has been released to the general public. Brutal Knights got to write a song for it, entitled "Heave Ho". The lyrics are unavailable on the DVD so I thought I'd post them here in case anyone was interested. Here goes!
Get off of my phone
I don’t like your tone
Don’t call me from the cell
You’re unintelligible
Don’t be a perv
Or I’ll spike thee
Don’t be rude
Don’t talk over me
Heave Ho
Time To Go
Don’t mention Monk
Don’t mention pranks
Don’t use funny voices
Best Show is for pro-choicers
Heave Ho
Time to go

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I need to write a piece for something that Davida Nemeroff is making. I've been dragging my ass about it. Feel free to pressure me to write this thing.
Look at the pictures she takes.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Cat Life

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Live Shows!

Hi friends. My man Anthony at Talent Moat records put this up on his website earlier, but I thought I should tell you about shows I'm doing in the near future!! They're all great!?!?

June 11 - East End Comedy Revue Humane Society Benefit, Dominion Tavern Toronto,ON.
June 13 - Laughable At Unlovable, 1415 Dundas St West, 830.
June 18 - Ottawa Explosion with White Wires, Heavy Cream and more. Babylon. Ottawa,ON
June 26 - Laugh Sabbath Hour Of Power, Rivoli, Toronto, ON.9PM
If that weren't enough, 4 dates with NEIL HAMBURGER!
July 13 - Casbah, Hamilton, Ontario
July 14 - Starlight Lounge, Waterloo, ON
July 15 - Comedy Bar, Toronto, ON.
July 16 - Comedy Bar, Toronto, ON.

See all of Neil's dates here.

Monday, June 06, 2011

A Comedy Sampling.

Above is a video of me doing comedy at Kumail & Jonah Ray's Comedy Meltdown show at Meltdown Comics in February. Right?

I'm Here All Weak

I wanted a "viral video" to accompany my album I'm Here All Weak, so I asked the amazing geniuses at Famicon to make one. They had me re-record my album in an empty room, and this is the result. Enjoy!

Bach With A Vengeance

I would love to see JS Bach return from the grave and start showing all these new musicians how it's REALLY done. So would my psychiatrist, who is a huge classical music buff. He recently switched his hours to one day a week so I probably won't be able to visit him much anymore. The solution? Start updating this blog more often. So expect a lot of informative posts about my breakfasts and cats in my life. Please welcome me back with open arms and a gentle spirit.