Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Killer Elite Reunion

10 years ago, I helped sing in a band called Killer Elite. We mostly played in Toronto. We liked MC5, Alice Cooper, Stooges and wrestling. There were two singers. We made balloons with our logo on it. I got a tattoo related to the band. In short, It was fun and tumultuous. We are reuniting for one show at the Horseshoe Tavern, opening for Quest For Fire's album release. We made one seven inch in our time and I can't find any youtube footage. So all I present to you is the poster for the show:

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

WINGS

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So we just made a new Brutal Knights album. It will be called Blown 2 Completion. Everyone knows I love chicken wings so much, so I wrote a song about it. Here are the lyrics...
WINGS

I've got a tapeworm plus empty 'frigerator

Go to the pub, look at the menu

My eyes doth see an item that my stomach wants to do

Someone named me is hungry for a chicken food

I want wings

They are the only things
I need wings

The food of queens and kings

I want wings

Celery and carrots too

I want wings

Don't forget the dip

Seasons are immaterial to this bountiful feast

I like to eat them buffalo style with blue cheese

Waitress you are stupid

I'm just kidding could you have been sent by cupid

I'm in love with you

But first bring wings is what you do

Don't you know they're my favorite food?
I believe that wings taste good

I want to eat so many I could fly

Then launch myself into the sun

A sickening demise

Monday, June 28, 2010

G20 - BINGO!

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In case you live "under Iraq", you missed out on quite the spectacle in my birth town of Toronto, Canada recently. We hosted some kind of leadership seminar called "G20" - the 'G' stands for 'gangsta' of course - where all the presidents and prime ministers trade information about which countries are the oiliest. In the end, the Italian guy wipes a kerchief on his sweaty head and reveals that his country is the oiliest. Then he leaves via helicopter and Obama says 'where does he get those wonderful toys?'.
Anyway, there were all kinds of protesters surrounding the event, trying to bring their causes to light. These causes included such causes as:

a)Free blood for vampires
b)Free homes for the unhomed, with hilarious hidden fees that show up when they least expect it - when they are in the bath, 'bathturbating'.
c)free packs of gums (for the gums-free)
d)Making food currency so that when people go to food banks they "make money"
e)Funding for gloryholes in trees, because trees need fellatio too!
f)End the making of marshmallows
g)Stop turning lambs into lamps! End the era of the lamb lamp!
h)Declaring Germany officially sort of forgiven for World Wars 2 & 1.
i)Signing a petition to give Tim Burton a talking to about style over substance, and aging.
j)Revealing the ending of M.Shlmaoyan movies to the public before we see the movie - if it's a neat enough ending we'll still go, but if it's irritating, we stay home.
k) Make it free to go to movies. Popcorn costs $20 though.
l)Horses get to ride humans for a change(no homo)
m)Stop discrimination against people who play MMORPGs - I once told a girl I played Everquest and she LITERALLY castrated me.
n)Start making umpires more accountable.
o)Make it illegal for homeless people not to busk.

All of these causes were protested,but nobody noticed. The evil media and the unlegitimate police state decided to burn their own cars in protest of the protesters to distract from our true causes.
What We Have Learned
Never let your guard down, and always have a hackey sack handy.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Last Airbender



I review the new Gem Sharmlayan film trailer.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

THE A TEAM


The A Team trailer review you've "A"ll been waiting for!

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Official Arm Statement.


Good ol' days of the right arm
I wanted to clear up exactly what happened to me regarding injuries sustained during a show my band Brutal Knights played Saturday June 5 in Montreal. Everything was proceeding fairly normally; I ventured into the crowd and wound up crowdsurfing for a bit, and then tried to head back to the stage. Unfortunately, I fell on my right arm, and it cracked, puncturing the skin slightly and breaking both bones in my forearm. Almost everybody threw up. I remained conscious throughout the experience. They even snapped a hot picture.

new style
Two plates were placed in my forearm. I stayed in the Montreal General Hospital until Monday June 7, when I was driven back to Toronto through the help of our guitarist Jon Sharron and his dad Larry. We had to cancel upcoming shows at the Horseshoe with Mudhoney in Toronto as part of NXNE and The Townehouse in Sudbury. It’s going to take awhile to get better, but it will get better. I'm going to use this rest time to work on my comedy album coming out on Talent Moat Records in September called I’m Here All Weak and Brutal Knights are releasing an album on Deranged Records in October. It will either be called Barely Regal or Blown 2 Completion.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Rules 4 Livin'

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Guys, sometimes I get sad and things get weird. Here are things that make me stop the melancholy:

Eating whole bags of chips
Shooting guns at rich people in my mind!
Gum
The knowledge that I had nothing to do with the making of terrible film Velvet Goldmine
Remembering how fond my grandparents were of me
Using my mind to change the race/gender of people I look at

Follow these rules and you'll never be sad!

Sunday, May 02, 2010

New Trailer Reviews!

Hi folks. I've been remiss, but here are a couple of new Trailer Reviews I made. Exciting!
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Kick-Ass

Season Of The Witch



Let me know how you like!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Rhymefest Interview

So I interviewed Chicago rapper Rhymefest for spinner.com as part of their huge SXSW preview - they interviewed 2000 bands for it! He had a lot to say and my spinner piece only contained some of it. Here's the rest. Please enjoy, and check out his album when it comes out May 18th.


Sorry about my phone problems. It's hard figuring out technology!
We live in the future, but it's complicated. I've been saying that for awhile – we live in a bright new future at the price of our freedom.
What's the freedom that's lost?
Let me give an example: with the invention of the iPad, bookstores will go out of business, like how Netflix put blockbuster out of business. So when that happens and you're getting all your knowledge from an iPad, when college students are [using it] instead of a bookbag, it's convenient. What happens is independent bookstores where the government can't track what the people are buying, what they're reading, [you won't have those soon]. It's a way to burn books. It's all electronic. Our government is in a position where the whole thing is to gather information on everybody, and what everybody's doing – for purposes of selling things to stimulate the economy, and also to get information on who's doing what. It's the price of our freedom – iPhones cost $200, which ain't jack – but you can't do no crime with no iPhone – they know where you at. We satellite tracked you! We can listen to you on your iPhone and as a matter of fact we can blow it up in your hand! It's the bright new future. The great thing about it is it's introduced to children as 'the way things work' – kind of like racism.
Maybe it's the children who find a way around it.

They will be the ones to fight it. They'll be the ones to fight revolutions, and to do that you need to know who you're fighting and why. To do that, you need training. For that, you need rappers and hip-hop, that's what our job is supposed to be. We're supposed to be where you get information about what's going on in the street. This is why it's important to have albums like El Che or artists like Immortal Technique.
Dead Prez...you ever worked with them?
No I haven't. It's unfortunate, certain artists doing stuff like that are almost too intelligent to work with other artists like that, so it's like outsmarting ourselves. We have to do things all together to cause real change.

When did you first start rapping?
When did I get money for rap? Whenever my first rap battle was and I won $100. When did I start making rap a profession when I could support my children? When did I first get a cheque for rapping that was able to buy me a house? 2005. I guess it's all relative.

How would you describe your sound?

My sound is...whatever the soundtrack to your life is – when you're riding down the highway on a roadtrip and you're looking back on your life and thinking about the things you've been through, you're playing Bullet, with me and Citizen Cope ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_56YPH50bGI ) . When you're playing Brand New because you got your brand new car and you think back to the time [that song] as poppin'. It's the soundtrack to your emotions. When you think about a Chicago artist, or at least the ones that a lot of people know, Chicago is the home of the blues, and I think unintentionally a lot of the rappers encompass that – in the sense of hardship, soulfulness, a blue collar type of vibe...struggle. Wintertime, violence, the absence of jobs. It creates that type of music.
I know about the cold, I'm calling from Toronto.
Oh, Toronto! How are the games?
The gays?
No, the games!
The gangs?
THE GAMES! The winter games.
Ohhh! That's in Vancouver!
Goddamn man, I didn't say the gangs! You're preoccupied with this! You're like an old person – 'where the games at?' 'oh, there's plenty of gangs – the crips and bloods. All kinds of gays and gangs.'
I guess I just wanted to impress you -
With Toronto's violent organisations. 'Where are the gay gangs!? You gotta see 'em, they wear pink bandanas – call themselves 'Dip Set Canada' – it's Dip Set Canada versus the Fig Leaves.
What are your musical influences?
Growing up, the music that struck me was the Scarfaces, the Geto Boys, Biz Markie was one of my favorite rappers – I loved any rappers that expressed vulnerability in their songs. Slick Rick had it, 2Pac was vulnerable. I never went for the 'I'm invincible, nothing happens to me, and life is great' bravado rappers. I apply music to life, to my everyday existance. The people who won through struggle are the people who resonated musically with me – this is what makes Michael Jacksona and Stevie Wonder and James Brown so great. James Brown could say [sings] 'Please, Please don't go' but then it's The Big Payback. Michael Jackson could sing 'I'm bad' and he could ask why the world is like it is in Human Nature or They Don't Care About Us. You gotta have vulnerability to be viable. Contradiction is beautiful. People have to stop acting like contradiction makes you not real. You're not real when you're saying 'I kill everybody and I'm invulnerable', but when you openly speak and say 'yeah man, I'm conflicted', that's beautiful.
DMX is great for that too – 'I'm gonna spit on you/yeah I know, it's pitiful'
DMX will say 'My mother, my father/I love 'em, I hate 'em'
How did you get your name?
Somebody called me Rhymefest, like it was a superhero name. I [said] 'yes, I am this festival of rhymes you speak of'', but now I that I know better and flow better, I'd rather be called Che. My real name [is more appropriate] for what my music is. I'm 32 years old, I can't go around calling myself Rhymefest. Che is the revolution that I'm on, that's what I'm about, that's my name, and that's why it's the name of my album. The album is all turned in, all done. I'm happy with it – I'm ready to go. I did a song with Saigon that I think is really cool. I did a contest called Give It To Me contest, just to give a rapper a chance to do a verse on a nationally distributed album, and this guy Adai won. I listened to a thousand wack-ass 16 bar verses and picked the one I thought was hot. I didn't want anyone on there who I thought was doing it just for some money – I did have money, all the people who contributed verses got paid, but I didn't want – Phonte would have done it for free, no matter what. When I asked them to do it, they did it – then I sent them some money. We are the last ones – Little Brother, Rhymefest, Slaughterhouse – we're the last ones that rap like we do. There's only a few of us left and we have to take care of each other. We can't be Hollywood about it.
I want Jay Electronica to work out.
I think it'll work out, he's with the right people. Bottom line is that people make excuses to deny something, and excuses have to do with everything but music, which is unfortunate.
What's your biggest vice?
I got my son in the car, you want to embarass daddy? I'll tell you my vice – he knows what my problems are. My biggest vice is selfishness; I'm working on that though, by putting myself in situations where I have to give more or where I give and it makes me feel so good that I continue to do it. Understanding what giving mean – it doesn't mean you don't get anything back, giving just means you're not looking for anything. I'll give you an example – we breathe and we give the trees carbon dioxide, and the trees in turn give us option. But we don't go up to trees and say 'yo, what's up with that oxygen?' It's something that happens naturally. True giving happens naturally, because you know when you give, you receive. In order for me not to be as selfish, I need to understand that I have to give naturally.
It relates to you saying you only wanted to work with people who want to work with you?
I've never been like that with artists – I haven't been like that in music, I've been like that in personal relationships which has hindered my musical career. I've wasted a lot of time being selfish – sometimes you don't realise how one thing has to do with another. You don't realise how if you're not right by your wife, then you may not make music as quick, because you ain't got no peace in the home. If you're not right with your mom, it may delay your album coming out because you dealing with personal family stuff. Sometimes you have to give in order for the rest of your life to flow correctly.
What is your musical guilty pleasure?

My musical guilty pleasure is talk radio. Nobody wants to hear talk radio, but it's music to me because I'm a lyricist, and talk radio is debate – it's lyricism. The art of battling. I learn from it. If anybody else gets in the car, they're like 'will you please turn off NPR?' Aw man, “Welcome to This American Life” - aww yeah! I listen to Terry Gross. I'm an NPR fan. Don't try me with that! I don't listen to as many podcasts as I should, because I lost my iPod with the podcast stuff on it, and when I'm on my internet am I supposed to go to the radio or am I supposed to go to dope Youtube videos or my Netflix? I think I'll go to those.
I go to the messageboards.
Oh, I learned to stop doing that a long time ago. It's no good for an artist. I would encourage all artists to stay off of the boards. Do not read them. The only thing that they're designed to do is make you quit. Like, you'll find yourself arguing with a fuckin' eleven year old – not meaning my son who's also eleven – but you'll find yourself arguing with twelve year olds. I remember someone writing 'Rhymefest's existence disgusts me' and for like five hours I was asking 'why does my existence disgust someone?' I was in the studio – how am I supposed to write a rap under that kind of pressure? I had to go sit on a rock and put my hand on my chin and think to myself how I could make my physical presence un-disgusting to this one human being. I've found people on Twitter will attack me, and I will address them – not in a combative manner, just like 'what did I do?' and I'll give them my number to address me and one of two things will happen. Either they'll call me, and I'll answer and they'll say 'I can't believe you're really on the phone!', really starstruck. Now you're the biggest fan. Or they'll never hit you again, never send another message. All they wanted was some damn attention, and if I gotta give attention to a hundred thousand people, I'll never get work done. You just gotta keep your eyes straight and keep making music.
Beatles or Rolling Stones?
The bowling stones?
Rolling Stones.
Now I'm the old man - “oh those bowling stones”. Beatles were more musically revolutionary than the Rolling Stones, but I like the Rolling Stones better because I believe the Beatles were a government project. I believe they gave kids acid in colleges and then hooked this boy band up, and had them play music to subdue real revolution.
Which government?

Western governments. The FBI, the British version of the FBI – can you use your flux capacitor to google that for me? The western world works together as far as what the agenda will be. I do believe that certain musical groups are used as little weapons of mass destruction; I believe that's the case now, when you look at certain rappers that just rap ignorant. They don't understand. You can't blame them – that's like blaming the bomb. You have to blame the bomb-maker or the bomb deployer or the government. Rappers don't understand that they're being used as weapons to deploy ignorance. When people in Africa are like “Yo I don't wanna speak Swahili, I wanna speak english slang, wear my hat like this, pants sagging and wear a gold chain” It doesn't mean anything when you're in Africa and you've got mountains of gold. What they're doing is dumbing down the populations of other nations and making them forget their own culture.
So a guy in Senegal singing 'you're a window shopper' isn't the best thing?

A guy in Senegal singing 'window shopper' or 'birthday sex' is losing touch with who he is – African music is better than rap music! A guy in Uganda singing 'clean on the inside, clean on the outside' is fucking his life up and don't even realise it. What they're doing is incorporating lost slaves who don't know themselves into their lives.
They're taking things on needlessly. I do wanna hear an African MC though.

There are two kinds of African Mcs. One is Akon, who is a sing-rapper, then you have the ones in Africa who have to act American to be hot. You got those in Europe too. You got Africans in Europe who want to totally forget who they are. Their parents are one generation away but you're calling yourself British? I get into this argument with my African European friends all the time. Mexicans don't come here and say I'm no longer Mexican, I am American. It's dark people being told 'you don't wanna be that'. I know three Congolese who tell me they French. Come on, I know Congo is rotten – but you're not French.
What is in your SXSW survival kit?
Since I know it's in Texas and everything is bigger in Texas, I'm gonna bring a big spoon for the food. Gotta have all your one liner battle rap lines to add to your flow ready; there are gonna be a lot of rappers there and you might get tested. You gotta have them corny little battle rhymes ready. You gotta bring a couple condoms just in case it go down. Bring a T shirt because the weather might be nice, so bring your Hawaiian shirt with the flowers. Skyzoo wil be there so I'll bring my Skyzoo CD to be signed.
He then greets someone he passes on the street

Got to keep in contact with the people in the hood, you know.
I kind of know about that. I live in a Portugese neighbourhood and try to say hi to everyone
You gotta keep your Portugese hood pass! 'My Portugese pass is good, baby!'
You've done a bit of writing for Kanye West. Did you help write the I'm a let you finish speech?
I gotta take credit for that. It was all my idea, and it was a bad idea. The whole Taylor Swift thing was me. I said 'man you know what you should do...' Blame me. Don't blame him.

Repo Men

New TR: REPO MEN


In other news, I did comedy last night, and it was one of those shows where the crowd was like a silent movie, except without the character on the piano providing background music. It felt like I had tumbled into a void where time, space, humour didn't exist and my entire consciousness had become a vividly gray Greek-owned sports bar filled with onion rings, indifferent people who had no time for my 'combinations of presidents' impressions and a guy who gave me his card and told me I could get an interview for a job in 'sales' after I told him what I do. I woke up today feeling like a kid who did acid the night before: scared and ready to learn more. What do I want to learn more about? Definitely how NOT to wind up having shows like last night.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Farm

My friend Tom made a video. I enjoy it and wanted to share it with you.
He also has a blog.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Brutal Knights UPDATE!

From The Brutal Knights Blog
We just wrote and recorded our first song since last year's legendary "Total Rebellion" sessions, and let me tell you, it was nice to see Katie again. She's doing great!
We recorded a song for a DVD called Fantasia In Best Show Minor, featuring stuff from Fucked Up, Kurt Vile, Tim & Eric, Todd Barry, Yo La Tengo and a bunch more friends of The Best Show On WFMU with Tom Scharpling - a very worthwhile show that I highly recommend you listen to for maximal laughs. Their theme song for the year is the Rollins' Band cover of "Do It'. Unfortunately the DVD is unavailable now that the Best Show's pledge drive is over but a)you will probably use some kind of weird internet power to download it and b)we'll probably use some version of the song in the future.

Anyway, the plan is to write a bunch more songs this year, redo a couple of songs from Total Rebellion, and to cover two songs by Ottawa superpunx Furnaceface, and then release it as an album. What will the album be called? Only my mood this year will decide...thanks for all the nice messages and stuff you send us. It's nice that people are still excited about our pizza band.

love,
Nick

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Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Hubble 3D

I review Hubble 3D! IN ACTUAL 3D. I hope you own some 3D glasses. I love using the word 'hope' because as a Canadian, it's the only way I can show support for Obama - but that is a story for another day! Enjoy the video...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Chomedy

How do you introduce yourself awkwardly? Allow me to show you.

Nick Flanagan

combustiblesound | MySpace Music Videos

This set and some of the others up on myspace happened right before I recorded my album sets - which I am going over this week and organising into some sort of cohesive mess. I'm very excited for the record. I even got Anthony who owns Talent Moat(the label putting out the record) to give me his phone number, so you know I must be legit!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Trailer Review for District 13: Ultimatum

Yes, I reviewed the ad for French mondo-terror parable District 13:Ultimatum.
Please enjoy!


I watched some movies lately. I saw the original Italian Job - and I'm not talking about the Sistine Chapel, I'm talking about the movie with Michael "John Mc" Caine. He sure wore a lot of eyeliner in the 1960s, but who didn't!?

Then this week I watched Don Siegal's The Killers. Ronald Reagan is in it and he looks about 70 years old. Keep in mind this is in like 1966! It makes me feel weird when old people live for 20 years or more. Right? No, probably not right.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Roundup! Toro Video! New Heads! LA Report.

Hello to all my 'dirty dirtys'. I hope you're well this fine February. Valentine's Day is upcoming, and I'm hoping to not get gangbanged this year, as per my contract. Let's talk about things. There's a new episode of Heads! It's up exclusively at Street Carnage right now.
Also, I'm getting into season one of Friday Night Lights. Is it too late for me to become an athlete?
I visited LA recently. Here's an exclusive pic from it:
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The secret word is 'don't scare Pee Wee with my almost psychopathic overenthusiasm'
I wrote about all the starwatching I did here.
I also have a new Trailer Review for Toro!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Jay Reatard

Jay Reatard died almost two weeks ago, and I just wanted to give my sympathies to his friends and family. A loss like this must be very difficult. I met Jay a handful of times, but had performed at shows with his bands since 2003, loved his music, and he was a friend to Brutal Knights, as our guitarist Jon explains in better detail on our myspace blog
I don't know what to say, what to add, except that I feel deeply saddened by what happened. He was an engaging, genuine person and a huge presence. The fact that he accomplished so much in 29 years is extraordinary.

(watch past the animated intro, kicks in at 0:45 or so...)



You can listen to The Cherry Blossom Clinic's 2 hour tribute to Jay's music here.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Trailer Review, End of Recordings, Comedy For Haiti

Thanks to anyone who came out to the recordings. Thanks also to Ben Kaplan of the National Post for letting me 'chatbout' myself. The last one was yesterday and from January 14th on it has been a little odd focusing on the comedy, but hopefully I provided some entertainment that both celebrated/made us forget about problems. Speaking of, on Toromagazine.com I reviewed the trailer for Extraordinary Measures.

Also, in Toronto a bunch of shows are raising money for relief in Haiti Read about it here.
Also, I had a "would you rather" used at SF Sketchfest in the Comedy Death Ray show. You can download it as part of their podcast here.My thing comes up at like minute 31. Hiyo.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Avatar Trailer Review

First of all,TV Carnage is still great.
Secondly, Avatar came out. I wrote a column that discussed The 'Avatar Blues' and some other stuff. In late 2009 I also reviewed the trailer for Avatar.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Recording Sets.

So I'm gonna make an album on Talent Moat records. The first recording is today! Come on out if you're in Toronto and you like filthmouth. The first show is today!
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Trailer Reviews, Cont'd. "The Spy Next Door"

This 2010 is starting off with a trailer reviewing BANG! So...bang?

Sunday, January 03, 2010

My FAVORITE Albums of The Year!!?!?

For the last 6 or 7 years I have been occasionally entrusted to write about music. I like it - I especially like interviewing people, because it is only then that I am able to deeply misquote them. Misquoting has become favorite hobby/pastime. Lately the weekly I've been writing for has cut their freelance budget, so I haven't been writing anything about music lately. They still wanted a top 10 albums of 2009 list from me, which was nice. I scrambled to think of what I liked this year. So I will reprint the top ten albums I chose, with some elaboration on why.


1.The Spits - School's Out

I don't even know what this album's called - "S/T" or "Vol.4" or whatever, but I do know that I still love the Spits after all these dirty, misspent years. It's dazed punk rock, and I need that the most. The lyrics always make me laugh too. If you don't like it, that's fine, but it doesn't make you better than me, yet.


2.Raekwon - Cuban Linx II
This is one of the more respected rap releases this year, and even though I listen to loads and loads of hip-hop, when it came to new releases I didn't really focus on much from this year. It all just gets confusing; in the 2000s most of our rap years are interchangeable. The hip hop of this decade past is a hodgepodge of pleasingly lobotomized southern rap, overly emphatic punchlines, Pharrell Williams, and a secret emo edge.
Back to Rae, the 15 years that it took to produce this album showed that as an MC he has retained his skills and his ear - there are no duds and no particular awkward attempts to blend into a pop landscape. He did good and it was very necessary for him to do so.

3.Urban Blight - More Reality 12"
Now this is great; saw Urban Blight twice this year and enjoyed it both times, although they are one of these bands where the crowd loses it to such an extent that it can cover up the songs. Speaking of, the recording is scummy and frustrated-sounding. It really showcases that people who don't drink or do drugs and are obsessed with baseball are deeply angry inside. It's really quick and everything sounds like it's a step away from crumbling. Just like our society you idiot!

4.Mad Men - Two At A Time Plus One
Mad Men is the one man project of Fucked Up and Career Suicide's Jonah Falco(he recorded the Urban Blight album FYI - with one mic) This is not on the verge of crumbling - in fact Falco is a really solid musician and writer who comes from a family of musicians. It's got weirder things going on than other hardcore - sounding like a mix of melodic punk, with back and forth vocals and a rushed speed that keeps everything very breakneck. They've played live a few times but there's no cohesive lineup. I'm hoping Jonah does an acoustic show soon. Couldn't find any youtube stuff, so here's Jonah Falcon showing his penis to George Takei.


5.Woods - Songs Of Shame
Heard this closer to the end of the year, and it fullfils my criteria because it's
a)kinda sad b)totally awesome and c)unique and low-budget (like the movie Red).

Crystal Antlers - Tentacles
LA's Crystal Antlers impress me because of the fact that they're all in their early 20s. When I was in that age, it was hard enough for me to brush my teeth, much less sign to Touch & Go right before it closed up shop for awhile. These gang of hombres are just dudes. They're not trendy, but they're not a bunch of balls of corn who mainly care about their amps and facial hairs. To be fair, they do have beardish items, but they're from LA and I have a higher tolerance for west coast face rugs than for guys from Brooklyn who try to rock the 'hasidic Levon Helm' steez. Also, they are good live. To wit:

7.Major Lazer - Guns Don't Kill People, Lazers Do
Though I sometimes find the vocalists have too much of a UK ragga vibe for me, the beats are great on this, and the sense of humour present is entertaining. Plus there's this]:

8.Brent Weinbach - The Night Shift
Brent Weinbach is a west coast comic who won the "Andy Kaufman Award" a little while ago. No, "The Andy Kaufman Award" is not a euphemism for dying. His debut album is a collection of standup clips, prank phone calls, and somewhat earnest songs. This variety kept me interested while also keeping me glued to my wheelchair. I haven't paid for the wheelchair yet, but when healthcare kicks in I plan to. Oh wait, I live in Canada so I already have healthcare. Wait a second, this isn't a wheelchair at all - it's whale char!

9.Lonely Island Incredibad
The Lonely Island have a pretty good handle on popular music, especially if it's got rap vibes. So I must support the release of their Long Player release, Incredibad. The supporting videos add a lot more to the songs, but without said songs the videos wouldn't exist - and so Incredibad, I tip my hat to your hilarities. Anyone who thinks Andy, Jorma and Akiva are not funny folk should shave their head and make a song called if You Seek Amy. I love that "Stork Patrol" is a pretty accurate Ghostface parody.

10.Rick Ross - Deeper Than Rap
I don't know. I just don't know. But I do know this: I like the song "Rich Off Cocaine". Super happy pop choruses that make the Neptunes sound like Darkthrone are the future of rap beyond the oughts. Is that a good thing? IS ANYTHING A GOOD THING?