Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Guys, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Nick WHO-again?'. Right? I hope I'm not right, because that would mean I'm a forgettable guy, and I haven't worn loud and terrible sweaters for my entire adult life just to be thought of as forgettable.
I decided to start logging with a B at the front again. I'm not sure why. It just feels right. But enough about what feels right; here are some things that do not feel right:

1.A shaky toilet.
2. A dirty toilet brush
3. Hair that has been washed in a toilet
4. Toiling on farms.
5. Using toilets on farms
6. Reverse-toilets filled with boiling water.
7. The fact that I moved out of my parents' house.

Yes I did. I did do that. It feels good, but it seems like you definitely deal with more strangers once you move outta the ol' folks' home. And you watch more awful television. Speaking of which, will somebody give me money to make a sequel to film Enough? It will be called Z'nuff.

Hey you sweethearts from Heaven-I have some upcoming shows.

The first is Thursday October 12th. It's called the hour of power. My cousin Jack Dylan did the drawings on the poster. The lineup is great.
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We do video intros for the show. Below is last month's:

Also, on friday October 13th I have the honor(alongside Ottawa's Daiquiri) of opening up for Neil Hamburger in Toronto, at Revival. The show should be at 9 or so. I recommend giving it a good going-to.

On saturday I'll be in Pittsburgh! I will have two cheesesteaks s'il vous plait!
Exclamatory points!
Please give me money that will pay my first and last month's rent! I'm not broke but I will be after I go to the zoo this weekend, because it costs so much, and because going there inspires me to donate all my money to animal bursaries.

Then tuesday October 17th I'll be at The Rivoli, showing my short play Bro-Thel at the sketch dot comedy lounge. It will feature Mike & Terrance Balazo, Makesi Arthur, Kathleen Phillips & Katie Crown. I look forward to it. Do you?

October 20th I'll be in Montreal with Brutal Knights, playing Caroline's birthday at l'escogriffe. The Ventilators & Terminal State are also on the bill. I'm sure some other rad band is as well. Here's what's happening in Sherbrooke the next day:
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Then on the 22nd I'm doing comedy at the Dominion Tavern in Toronto as part of Boyd Banks' night. I'm stoked for that!

Another awesome awesome show occuring is Box Salon, at the Rivoli on Wednesday October 25th. I'll be doing comedy and numerous artistes will be doing other radical things. I'm going to be very very sexual that evening. Beware. Be aware.

Brutal Knights play The White Orchid with Regulations and The Bayonettes Saturday October 28th. Expect costumes. The show is late and the show is free.

finally...Joke Club celebrates its 2nd anniverary on tuesday, November 7th. More information pending. 'Til then, check out this weird thing I found on youtube:

phew! That drained the ol ballsack something proper.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

What a crummy day. The sun is shining, the grass is green, a mideast peace summit has been held and peace was declared in record time, a friend of mine won the lottery, all dogs and cats in the humane society were adopted, it turns out martians are coming to earth but are nice, Prince has proved once and for all that he is better than the Neptunes, and ethnic cleansing has been banned worldwide, but I have a headache, so: shitty day. Just kidding. Most of the nice news I provided in the previous sentence is false, including the shittiness of today and my headache. The truth is, I have a backache.

I was away for a bunch of days, first on trips with my friend Todd from Books On Tape around Ontario. Some of the shows were good and some of the shows were a bit strange. I ate at a restaurant that made me shit painfully. Still, there were nice people in each city, and they made that painful shit a little less so.

After a few days of kicking it back in the hometown, I was off to Las Angeles to play a few comedy shows, which was pretty exciting. There's a lot of prehistoric trees down in those parts. We stayed with Todd and his wife Kerri while down there too, which was pretty nice. I ate at Canter's deli and it was pointed out there were subliminal swastikas on the ceiling. Maybe that was just my starstruckedness thinking for me though.

I'd like to interrupt my reminisces for a moment to let you know that I highly enjoy Lil Kim: Countdown To Lockdown. It's kind of like watching a tiny blow up doll throw tantrums and weep.

Anyway, after the LA joke blitzkrieg, the band showed up and Brutal Knights started our west coast dates-a lot of the bands we played with were really really nice, and although a couple of the shows were rated blah, people made efforts with those shows too. Long Beach seems strange. Nothing was really a better moment than eating at Michaelango's Pizza on the last day-I hadn't eaten pizza for the whole trip and it was a highly welcome taste return.

As soon as I got back I had tons to do-from watching Good Burger to opening up for Clit 45, a punk band that seems to have been disgraced by the internet. Then it was my birthday. And today is 'sleep all day day'. So I'm going to bed.

Saturday, March 11, 2006


I do. That show has seduced me. I watched it last night. Afterward, I watched Coyote Ugly, and learned that if I really want to get good, I need practice playing keyboard while singing my songs without a mic at night, on my the roof of my New York apartment building, with lips that look swollen from punching. Thanks to everybody who came out to this past Joke Club. I had fun and hope you also did too, if you were there. I was supposed to play a show with this band Orthrelm tomorrow at The Boat, but it isn't happening. So now I have an extra day to figure out what type of shit to talk about for the Books On Tape shows this week. I get the feeling people want to hear me make fun of presidents. This is just a hunch.

Today Brutal Knights are playing Larsenal in Montreal. I don't know if anybody knows besides us and a few wise punx. I look forward to the za. I wish I were one of the Coyote Ugly girls, because then I would have a shitload of tip money saved up, probably.

Oh yeah, check out a short I'm in called "Ma" at www.pancaketuesday.blogspot.com