Thursday, August 18, 2005

G.I Jew

That's what I feel like today; a Jewish commando ready to die before letting them pull out of Gaza. Hey I think you guys all know my philosophy: "Nuke em if you got em".
Just kidding. This middle eastern situation is just an all-around douchebag. I don't know which collection of clean-shaven/heavily bearded people I agree with less.

I am a pushover. I get a comment asking me to update my B=log, and so I do. If everybody else jumped off a cliff I would have a hard time not also jumping.
Lately things have been OK. I really have no idea how to use my life correctly, but besides that I'm fine. Joke Club last week was really good. All the acts were fun. I was gonna show a Jubal Brown video entitled Life Is Pornography but at the last minute we decided to wait until it was slightly cut. I've been sending out pitches to magazines for stories lately, but at the moment "the fish ain't bitin". Maybe sometime soon "the fish will bite".

I was around Georgian Bay for a couple of days recently. That was nice. More cottage wanted from me. There's nothing quite like swimming in cold waters while not thinking about working. I think that's how the people of the titanic also felt.

The Montreal/Sherbrooke shows were fun. I drank some guarina-infused malt liquor in a can the size of my pinky finger. It's a waste of money unless you like investing in having new subjects to discuss.

There are shows, of course. No Dynamics have always been friends and supporter-types of my jokes. They have very nicely asked me to MC their two nights of EP release shows at The Bagel, located on the south side of college street right by Spadina. The shows are $7 at the door and advance tickets are available at Rotate this for $5, I think. On Friday 40 Watt Head, Tradition and a few others open. On Saturday it's Panzram's Ghosts, Pony Da Look and another sweet band are rockin'it. They should be fun shows. Come visit.

Then on Monday August 22nd I'll be partaking in an all-videogame material edition of Standup In Alpha Zones, my friend Mack Lawrenz' bi-weekly comedic hoedown at the Gladstone Hotel. It's free and starts at 8. Plez com

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

i was pressing 'refresh', for like, 3 hours and then finally you wrote something. i like the part about the titanic, but i'm scared to picture you in a bathing suit.

Anonymous said...

KNOCK KNOCK?
WHO'S THERE?
DOCTOR.
DOCTOR WHO?!?!?!?

hahahahaahahahahahahah

Anonymous said...

so there was this pony who walked into a bar and asked the bartender 'excuse me sir, can i have a beer?' and the bartender looked over and said 'what?! speak up! i can't hear you!' and the pony once again said 'i wanted to order a beer sir' and the bartender said again 'I CAN'T HEAR YOU, PLEASE SPEAK UP!' and the pony said 'I'm sorry. I'm a little hoarse (horse)'.

LITTLE HORSE!!!!!

Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahgaha

Anonymous said...

WRITETH MORETH OR SUCKETH MY BALLETH.

Anonymous said...

STOP WRITING!




-rebecca y.

bob wiseman said...

hi nick. i share your perspective about the two bearded peoples and i'm in israel right now. but worse, there have been 4 major plane crashes since i left toronto for france and israel. please do not hesitate to make fun of my death if it should happen in a plane returning to toronto next week. and know in your heart i will regret that we never yet did collaborate in some meaningful way - except for your blog.
bob

Flans said...

Bob, how nice to hear from you. Hope Israel is fun.
Thank you for giving me perfmission to mock whatever fate happens to you. I give you the same permission.
I was actually listening to an album you produced a couple of days ago-Shame Based man by Bruce McCulloch...what entailed the production duties? Did you round up the musicians who played on it? I'm interested in knowing. Was it a fun experience? This back and forth can count as our first collaboration.