Monday, December 27, 2004

Show me the shows! Show me more of the shows!

I was remiss yesterday, and neglected to mention a couple of shows occuring late in January. I am also sure that Brutal Knights will be performing at some point in January, I just know not when. Here's some more comedy nights though:

Friday, January 21st: Canker Comedy Night@ Oasis, $5
featuring Megan Fraser, Mack Larenz, me, Joseph Ross and Jared Sales & Daryn Mcintyre.

Sunday, January 23rd: as part of Goodie Bag TV's night of comedy@ Clinto's, $5.

That is all for now.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Box Day

OK, so yesterday I wrote my sad thoughts on L'Afterparty while under the influence of a severe bout of Christmas day depression. Today I am slightly better. All in all, the only things that hurt about L'Afterparty was that my final set was so shitty and that didn't have a million-dollar profit. OK, upon writing that, I realise those facts still hurt. I'm going to make up for it by leaving the house and buying something nice for somebody--the one present I'm buying this year.

Here's some upcoming shows I'm playing:

December 31@Thymeless, $5: I'm doing comedy and the countdown for New Year's at Doing It To Death, another place where an awfully received comedy set by me has occured, alongside a band that includes most of the Creeping Nobodies, No Dynamics, and 'wonderful'-man band BBQ. This is the place to be for New Year's Eve if you are trying to be cheap and cool!

Joke Club@Drake Hotel, January 4th. $5 Here's the flyer:

Also playing are white-belted Wavelength regular and cartoonist Matt Collins, David Dineen-Porter and Mister Anonymous. I have 25 guest list spots open. Let me know if you'd like to go free!

January 16th: Old York Tavern anniversary show@ The Old York Tavern. Free! One of my favourite open mics celebrates its second anniversary, and I'll be there to help. Huzzah.

January 17th: Alt Comedy Lounge@The Rivoli, PWYC, 830. I'm scheduled to appear at the Alt Dot, which is always an exciting and fun thing for me. As the Scottish might say, I 'cannae wait'.

There are other shows coming up to! And then in February...west coast tour.

Hey! I got a nice mention in Eye Magazine's(a Toronto weekly) standup roundup. Here's what Joel Mcconvey said in regard to me:
"Deadpan meta-riffer Nick Flanagan likely won't be playing amphitheatres anytime soon but his continuing transformation into the bastard son of Neil Hamburger and Stephen Wright is both puzzling and hilarious (if in a mildly uncomfortable way) to watch."

Hopefully I play an amphitheatre soon. My mother didn't like that part, or the 'uncomfortable' part, but then again, she's never seen me play, so what she really know ('bout my dirty mouth)?

Looks like 2005 is gonna be shittily busy...maybe this is the year where I actually won't need a day job. To quote ALF: HA!

Saturday, December 25, 2004


I'm eating an orange and banana right now. My parents are letting me eat from their cupboard as a Christmas present. I find this very generous, especially considering that one of them is Jewish. So far here is my Christmas gift tally:

from god: a good night's sleep

I also got two pieces of Garfield paraphenelia and a dvd. This afternoon we're heading somewhere to eat turkey. I like turkey.
Thanks to everybody who came by to L'Afterparty. I basically had a shitty time. Somebody left a bra. Dan Burke's performance was the most memorable thing. The set I did at the end was the least memorable thing, Happy xmas?

I've decided to elaborate on what I thought of L'Afterparty. First of all, I was very pleased with the turnout. It was wonderful. Also, The Bicycles, Andre Skinner, 4th Pyramid and all the comedians were all cool and good. I basically hate MCing--although I think I did an alright job at tit. I also hate that I had to pay a band Dan booked who were totally unecessary to the night. They were fine, but when they asked to go on earlier than I wanted, I capitulated and allowed them to; I did this because I am a pushover. By the time they finished, everybody I knew had left. Then I did a comedy set and nobody cared. I also had four shitty and drunk hecklers who were brutal at heckling(saying things a la 'oh my god! that doesn't even make SENSE!?!' to cringingly punctuate my jokes) and much less funny than me, which is depressing. I lost what faith I had in my set that night and cut it short. Plus, I made less money at the show than I would have if I'd agreed to play somebody else's show. I hate to whine, but I'm just starting to worry about having funds at the ready for this tour. I wish I had another skill so I could just stop doing this. And by 'this', I mean blogging. What happened to the people who said they would come but didn't? I'm not trying to complain to you for not going. There were just a couple of people I was hoping to see, who it seems couldn't make it. If you were playing with a dog instead of going to this show, then that is a fine reason not to have gone.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

So L'Afterparty occurs this evening. I could be a bit comedically sloppy, but on the other hand, it will be a fun time. I'll share a secret with all of you blog-readers: I have no planned DJ. I forgot to get one. I think I'll just put on a Son Seals CD--he just died and it's at a blues bar. Anyway, here's an informal set list for the show tonight:

945: Introductory notes.

950: jokes

10 PM: Deborah Robinson

1015: Musical surprise!

1030: James Marshall

1050: Andre Skinner

1110: Tim Nasiopolous

1130: Bicycles

12: Flanagan

1230: Surprise band!

The surprise band is this dude Dylan Goodhue's band. Dan Burke arranged that they would play. Now he's trying to get this act called Boy Ballz, who I really know very little about, to play--and I'm not that stoked about it. Anyway, here are some lyrics to the newest Brutal Knights song 'self-gay handjob', which concerns the inherent homosexuality of self-satisfaction . I'll have Flanagan T-Shirts & pins available at the show, and there will also be Brutal Knights live at CIUT cds for$5.


I gayly frisk my crotch five plus seven times a week
bravely play with gender roles by overdoing myself

self-gay handjob
is the best job
self-gay handjob
is a messy job
but somebody's gotta do it

my friends say it is bad to do
I say 'look in the mirror, you'
I myself look in the mirror while jerking
to make sure I get treated right
I am top and I am bottom
self-abuse gets me through depressing autumn

self-gay handjob
I need a rest job
self-gay handjob
is a depressy job
but somebody's gotta do it

Sunday, December 19, 2004

I No Understand

I'm listening to an MP3 of a Bill Hicks show I've never heard before. It's totally 'larious(I think you know what I mean). It's got lots of stuff I've heard on it, but sometimes he took on exactly the right tone and phrased things in such a good way that you can't help but look past the fact that it's comedy from the 1980s.

The show we played last night was fairly cool. We played alright, but guitarist Jon's gear was constantly getting unplugged--a frustrating thing. Other guitarist Katie held it down enough though. Cinecycle is a decent enough venue, but we could have used better sound. Who can't use better sound, I ask you? Booker Dan Burke showed up and we played our song about him while he went on to everybody around him about Boy Ballz, the band that plays the silver dollar monday who he is cashing all his chips on. If only he had faith in L'Afterparty...

I'm interviewing my comedian friend Gilson Lubin in a short while, and am brutally trying to come up with questions. I'm still not dressed, wearing my bathrobe and feeling hungover from the weekend. I drink beer, but it feels like it's melting my stomach and throat when I drink it. Is that normal? I passed a gas that smelled for twenty minutes. Come to l'afterparty thursday. Bring pals. Do you want to DJ?

Saturday, December 18, 2004

I am Non-Consensually Blogging

This is totally a forced example of bloggery. I have nothing to talk about. Do you know what I've done this week? Stayed in and cleaned some of my room. Yes, that is right--I only stayed in some of my room. I went nowhere near my shitty closet. For a whole week. I'm pretty proud of that fact.

Brutal Knights has a show today at a place called Cinecycle. It's $7 and with a whack of good bands. We're playing at 11....

L'Afterparty is at the Silver Dollar on thursday. Maybe this band the Bicycles are playing. I am tiiiiiiiiiiired.

Monday, December 13, 2004

One Wing to Rule Them All

And that wing is the honey garlic dipped 2.99 jumbo wing available at all participating Wing Machines. It tastes like 'good shit'. I'm listening to the music of some fellow named Jobriath right now. His music reminds me of that horrible, awful, terrible movie called Velvet Goldmine, but is better. I have a set at the gladstone hotel tonight. Not looking forward toward it, because I'm not feeling well today. Come to l'afterparty if you want to--it'll be super rad. I don't feel so good. Bye.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

It's Wednesday night. I'm at home. This is wonderful, but I don't know how long it will last. So the second edition of Joke Club occurred yesterday, and with a paid attendance of 15, the night had certain depressing elements. Even so, I thought a lot of the comedians had good material and were funny, and that Becky Johnson's job as my fact-checker was well done, especially considering how little preparation I gave her to work with. Mike Balazo's turn as Oliver Christmas was also very funny, as was my old bro-in-arms Tim Nasiopolous and his greeky ways. Still, I would love it if people would start going to some of these events, as they are fun. I'll try to make them funner. How can they be funner? Should I even bother having a L'Afterparty on December 23rd? Will anybody go? The lineup is looking good so far, with three musical acts, me, and three comedy makers.

Tomorrow I think I'll write some new material and perform it at the Hot Box Cafe. Then I will indulge in some freelance writing. I'm trying to save money to get to California in February, and it's tough. Once I get my plane ticket I'll feel a bit more relaxed, but until then I am a nervous nelly. Monday the 13th I am playing at the gladstone hotel, and then the 18th Brutal Knights is playing at Cinecyle with numerous ramjammers, to use a phrase my friend Daniella used before I did.

Played a bunch of shows last week. That's probably why nobody showed at Jokey Club. Probably not, actually---considering one of them had about 10 people, the other featured me as minor player, a third was an unattended open mic, and the fourth one was at a full Oasis. One might say I shot my load there, performing for about a half hour, but at the same time it wasn't to an overabundance of people. Oh well. I'll figure this out one day. Although I wish I didn't have to, and had somebody booking shows that would draw people who haven't seen me before but would like me.

Special thanks go to Dan Goodman and Steve Rees, who came from PA just to make sixty dollars and be treated apathetically by people who comedians consider 'hipsters', but I prefer to consider 'the bored,drunk or stoned'. They spent one night at casa Flan, and what can I say but 'now everything reeks'.

Comments or questions? Abortion views?

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Je, tu, internet

I was just in Montreal, so I feel bold about my pretentiousness at the moment. Montreal was fun! Music was played. Crowd surfery was indulged in. Friendship bracelets were passed out and old pals were run into. I ate fries more than once.

Hey loooooook....I changed my silly-billy website!

We played a house party on friday and things got broken, but nobody got laid because 'twas in Ottawa. Actually I think a zine got laid...onto the ground, forgotten.