Sunday, November 28, 2004

The Boy Are Back In Ye Olde Town

As Larry David once said, I'm back baby! And I have shows. And I'll write about the past week in a bit. But check the shows:

I'm opening up for sketch duo Mr.Francis at Clinton's(693 Bloor Street) this sweet night. Other comedians are also playing. It'll be great!!!? PWYC

I'll be doing 5-10 minutes of jokes at Paddy Murphy's on Queen Street West. It used to be the ancient, and it's just west of tecumseth street.


To celebrate the release of my friend Zach Worton's comic called Corpse, I'll be MCing a fun night in the back room of the Oasis, accompanied by the tunes of Matt Masters and DJ Heavy Early. It's also pay what you can! It starts round 9 30. You are INVITED!


Brutal Knights plays alongside The Leather Uppers, Boyfriend Material and Montreal's Demon Claws!!! At cinecycle! More info TBA!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I Am On The Internet. Are you? probably yes

Again I find myself here in Montreal, listening to the constant whistles of the many French here. Why do they whistle so much? They must have a song in their hearts. That song is called "Fuck America". What is your song called?
Mine is called "Teen Sex". Here are the lyrics:

So many people pressured into premature intercourse
whether it's from uncle, boyfriend or butler
it's a good thing
it makes you more mature

have teen sex
have it everywhere
you won't enjoy it
but it will teach you
you will learn of birds and bees
if you do it
so do it

repeat verse 1

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Feelin' Like a Snail In the Ocean

Tuesday's gone with the wind, and now we are at wednesday. What a great weekday. Maybe even the best one, because friday is too much of an abrupt transition from work to play, although I can't say I have much personal experience with a routine like that. For me, monday is like tuesday in terms of workload, and saturday is like thursday. It's confusing and not worth elaborating on. This past week has been busy and fast, but not as much as I would have liked it to be. I went to a mod party on friday and all I can say is 'yeah baby!!?'.

Did some comedy last night at the Gladstone Hotel. Comedy is the most joyless thing. Although I saw a guy who was fairly funny, so that was a plus. I don't want to boff him but I appreciate funniness. The other joyless thing beyond comedy that is happening in my life is that the song Don't Call Me White by NOFX is playing on my computer right now. NOFX make me understand the phrase 'snotty'.

Brutal Knights' show with Illuminati went well. The aforementioned band(as well as Goat Horn) rocked well, and I took my shirt off, which made people in the crowd less fat and more randy. It looks like we'll be playing with my friends BBQ and King Khan in January around Ontario so that is some exciting shit. And of course this saturday Brutal Knights rocks Clinton's alongside Bayonettes, Career Suicide, Sick Fits and another band whose name is being forgotten by me as I speak to you, and it's $5.
And of course tonight I MC a show that's pay what you can at Sneaky Dee's. Here's the lineup:
Piney Wolves
No Dynamics

Go go go! It starts at 9.

Tomorrow BK open up for the Constantines in Sudbury. I hope our payment is a giant nickel. The next Joke Club is tuesday december 7. It will be vainglorious.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Chingy's new record and the sociopolitical ramifications of his self-induced exile from Ludacris' Disturbing Tha Peace crew

Today I'm watching more stuff to review, sending out emails and waiting for my friend to come back so we can finish the last details of this Teen Crud Combo LP that's finally coming out. It's so ludicrous to be putting out an unknown band's small amount of tunes four years after we broke up, but at least pals around the world have been keeping our name out there amongst at least four people. Joke Club went well the other night. It should turn out to be a pretty rad event. Hopefully next time will be both more rad and more funny. Makesi Arthur and Sara Hennesey were the highlights of the night for me, but he always is. Props must also go to my faux sister Val Flanagan. If this all seems like "inside talk" to you, then perhaps you should have gone and would now be getting all the arcane references I am making as you read this.

I'm playing a free show at the gladstone with some fun enough comics on monday. It's gonna be OK times, I'm sure of it. Actually, somewhat sure.

I need to wash my pants.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Super Wednesday!

Joke Club tonight! I shittily MC. Talented folk will perform. It should be a blizast. I'm writing reviews in a mad hectic stylee 'write' now, and it's driving me nutso-bonkers. Why have I not seen the film Sgt.Kabukiman, NYPD yet? I cannot believe I call myself a cineaste and don't have that on my watched-movie resume. I have also added difficult-to-read show listing to what is technically known as 'the sidebar' of this blog, but which I refer to as 'the left part'. Maybe one day I'll learn the internet code and be able to make the left part look wonderful, but not today, misters.

I saw Zeke last night--guitarist and singer Blind Marky Felchtone rocked a shirt of my old band and shouted us out. That was cool! Then I drank four beers and had a shot of jagermeister and went home and dry heaved and shat.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Partying Down or Downwardly Partying?

Sorry about the lack of posting lately. I've been busily celebrating the Bush win with all my pals back in my hometown of Alberta. We've just been driving a tank up and down Edmonton's main drag and trying to find the easiest way to secede from Canada, and join our down-homehunter-gatherer patriot idols south of the border. We think the easiest way is to fart it up at the same time and get kicked out of the country for having a province that smells. No, but seriously, isn't it great that Bush got in? I really think it will force people to act more. And I'm right--a guy KILLED HIMSELF to make a point that it's shitty that Bush won. It's actually going to be interesting to see how people take this victory; as an impetus to act out and protest even more, or as a crushing defeat that necessitates a willful ignorance of politics for the next few years. I'm certainly going to follow the latter path, which is extremely lame considering the election has little do with me.

Anyway, I wasn't really in Alberta last week. I was in Montreal and it was fun. I'm learning a lot about buses due to my visits there. The bagels are good in Montreal.
Brutal Knights have played some shows in the last little while. Last week we killed it at Wavelength, as did Fucked Up, who were "pumpkin-riffic". We dressed as Slipknot. Find pics at

The next day we played at the Horseshoe with the Soledad Brothers, American friends who were very depressed the following day due to election horror. The show was good though and they rocked and we kinda rocked too. Our single's coming out soon.
Then last night we played at Dovercourt House for our friend Sian's birthday. It was really really fun. Good times. The show at Tim Sims Playhouse went well too. I hadn't played there before, and had an extremely pratfallish entrance and exit. I slid underneath the curtain in a snakelike fashion once my name was announced, and when I said goodbye I tripped over the mic cord and knocked the mic to the ground, but then it righted itself. Weird stuff. Knock Knock Who's There? Comedy! were great, too. They are four hilarity owners.

So many shows coming up, but the big one is Joke Club on November 10th, this coming wednesday.
Iron Cobra
Katie Crown
Mack Lawrenz
Sara Hennesy
Mack Lawrenz
Makesi Arthur

MC Flanagan
Here's the flyer:

I'll try to be more swift with "BLOGGING" in the future. I know you miss these needless words of mine.