Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Shitty Tunes Are My Life

So I review albums to make some extra change. But 99% of what I get is shit, and sometimes I don't even feel comfortable writing that in my reviews, because I feel a need to be 'objective'...for instance, right now I'm listening to Alter Bridge's debut album, One Day Remains, and it sucks balls so hard that the balls are crushed by the huge vacuum created by the album's sucking. These dudes used to be Creed, but they got rid of the drunk guy. What a bullshit album. But on the other hand, it is perfect for anybody who gets introspective once a year, but otherwise only works and jacks off. AKA Dubya.

I was really aggravated when I began blogging a moment ago, because I am a simpleton at this blog bullshit. I need to learn how to link to things I like and keep them up there, because there's lots of websites I'd like to advertise. Maybe sometime I'll just do an entry that's a short listing of them. I still need to update my website. Look, I don't want to fucking blog anymore today. I'm already useless enough. If I write anything else today I'll just feel like even more of a pointless person. But here are two shows where I will say funny things and not be the douche I seem to be today, or at the least, I'll be a hilariously exaggerated versh of the douche I seem to be today.

Wednesday, September 15--Hooch Above Gypsy Co-Op at Queen and Niagara--Stand Up at a comedy open mic. Free and shit. 9 PM

Friday, Sept 17--Performing at Canker at Gorilla Monsoon's. Free. Other performers include Jared Sales, Daryn Macintyre, Makesi Arthur, Joseph Ross and James Marshall.

Thursday, Sept 30--Doing comedy at Lee's Palace throughout the Paper Bag Records Anniversary Show featuring Jake Fairley, The Uncut, Magneta Lane and Controller.Controller...looking forward to this. I'll be playing with these bands on Oct 1 at Pop Montreal and Oct 13 at CMJ as well. Hiyoo. He--check out the forums on anonymous somebody says they're bored of my dick n' pussy jokes. But how can this be?!?!??!?!?!?

I've drank coffee today and it's made me terribly anxious. Oy,here's some more of my tour diary:


This happened over two months ago and I no longer remember any of it. We arrived in New York the day after Providence, RI, and the drive back was brutal in the period we spent waiting just to get back into the city. But then we went to our friend Dara's house, where we were staying during our return visits there during the week. I'm sure we drank, and a terribly crappy pot roach fell out of one of my older comedy books, meaning I could have been stupidly busted at the border. When I smoked it I couldn't tell whether it was weed or tobacco. Or if I got high. I had big plans for after the Brooklyn show--I was set to meet up with an internet magazine editor and meet comics at The Comedy Cellar. It wound up not happening, but the show at Brooklyn club Southpaw went awesome. I did 25 minutes and had benefited greatly from having done three long sets the last few days of the tour. I was quite happy with it, even if there were few people who saw me rock that shit in the crowd. Then we went somewhere afterward and had some drinks, probably. At some point I pissed.


Anonymous said...

hey nick,

its mark (7+7is from 20hz)... are you playing the neil hamburger show at casa here in montreal? or just the Paper bag thing?

we have no bloody l'afterparties here.

Flans said...

Hey Mark, yep, I'm playing both those shows. And if there's ever a demand, I would totally put on a L'Afterparty in Montreal. And I'll soon have a DVD of the last L'Afterparty so that your inattendence then will make no difference! It will be as if you were there.