Monday, July 26, 2004

Eternal Bullshit of the Filthy and Bored Flanagan

So after a week of taking it slow, I guess I'm preparing again for another grind of a month. I've got to do tons of open mics, some rock shows, and play a bunch of shows at the Drake Hotel, where I'll be the artist in residence this coming month.
My project is to make a good live DVD of my show, and it's daunting. I feel like a magician whose job it is to trick the camera that I'm better than I really am. My parents have been away, and me and my sister Sarah have just been relaxing here, but of late I've been feeling kinda voidy. I need some centrifugal force in my life, and I need it fast. Does that make sense?
I guess it isn't particularly hilarious. Well, imagine that I'm writing this while dogsitting forty hound dogs and smoking a cigar, all the while wearing suspenders but no shirt. Now is it funny? I went to a masquerade ball last night and had a wonderful time hanging out with my friend Davida, a photographer lady who is funny, awkward and nice. I helped bring her photographing equipment to the club, and was paid off with free admission. Then I went to a birthday party for about 20 minutes, but had a pretty great time, due to the eating of cake and the drinking of milky alcholic beverages, which are a fave of mine. Here are some show announcements:

Monday, July 26

I might do a set at Mack Lawrenz' video game-centric open mic at the Fuze Room, just east of bathurst. It's free. I'm probably going to have something else to do or laze out of this entirely, but I'd like to go.

Tuesday, July 27, Drake Hotel
I'll be MCing this night of video art and music, with the rapscallions in Spitfires and Mayflowers performing to cap it all off. I think it's like $2 and starts at 8. The Drake is on Queen West, on the north side, just east of Beaconsfield.

Wednesday, July 28

If I get back from the D12 concert in time, I'm gonna go to Mike Sheer's open mic at the Hooch, on Queen street by Niagara and above Gypsy Co-Op. It is also free. Nothing quite like doing an open mic, is there?

Saturday, August 7, Drake Hotel
I'll be emceeing(but not rapping) at this concert featuring Kat Burns, A Vertical Mosaic, mn-l, and Teh New Sneaks. This is an internet-centric show put on by the 20hz messageboard, Toronto Chapter, and I'm definitely interested in seeing how it goes. I'm trying to think of internet messageboard humour that doesn't involve fixating on the mispelling of commonplace words. It's all about finding the next level.

Monday, August 9, Oasis

BRUTAL KNIGHTS are playing the Oasis, with a bunch of bands, including San Francisco's HIGHTOWER and Wisconsin's THE SHUTUPS. It'll probably be $5-$6. You should go.

And now, my continued serialised recap of my adventures on tour last week, based on copious notes taken at the time.

NY/BOSTON July 11-12

After a very late evening spent on Dara's roof, I had to write an article, which I accomplished via the wonder of the internet, which I still think is bullshit but helps me more than most dads help their sons. I was so happy to have finished this article that I jumped for joy. We(Marco, Dara and I) celebrated by going to a bar called 1849, which had two dollar beers and two fifty mix drinks, as well as fifteen cent wings and a band that covered songs from Zeppelin to U2. I got restless, because drinking gives me heartburn and wings give me the farts, so I stepped out into the street for a bit, and hung around outside famed laff grotto The Comedy Cellar for a bit. Then I ran into Gilbert Gottfried and we blew each other so hard, that by the end of our session we had somehow exchanged our voices. Then me and the team went back to 7B, because I'd forgotten a digital camera there late the night before. We returned to find it was not there. Someone had taken it. We grabbed a cab and went back to Dara's house, slightly drunker, and definitely more bitterer. The night of bad tippery returned in that cab, because we gave a ten cent tip, and the cabbie said "Was there something wrong with the service?" For God's sake--NO! Don't be so insecure. Just accept the facts of typical bullshit life, you silly cabman.

The next day we got up early and headed to Boston, listening to Adam Sandler's new album on the way and occasionally laughing. I talked about girls who were hot, while Marco jonesed for the devil's nut hair, aka ganjah. We got to the club early, had an awesome meal at a nearby restaurant where they were watching an old Jam concert on TV, and played the show, which started weakly on my part but gathered legs as it went along. Doing a bad impression of JFK to a crowd in Boston has always been a dream of mine, and I lived that dream. The people at the bar were nice too. In fact, Hollie the soundgirl at TT the Bears, who was doing the door that night, let me and Marco crash at her house, which we appreciated very much. She stopped us from sleeping in our car and being mugged, raped and killed by people with stupid accents who hate America. Who else could I mean but Massasacheutians? We woke up the next morning, got bagels with her, visited the school where she once learned sound engineering, bought a disposable camera, and headed toward Providence on a rainy day, in a good mood. Hollie recommended we check out something called "Eighties Night" after our show. We needed to find a place to stay in Providence, so a lead on a place to find drunk and potentially hospitable youths was like discovering a geyser of stinky water in a dry-ass desert, but more arousing, but less exciting.
Here's a pic someone took of the Boston set.

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