Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Cheap food is disgusting

Wassup, my peoples? I'm just killin' time at ye olde comp, wearing a condom and waiting to get hard. Actually, of late I've been toying with the idea of masturbating while wearing a condom. Has anybody tried this? Does it work?
I just found out that this gross food court I go to once every three months in Chinatown got shut down, for the reason of violating health standards. The reason this is funny is that it's an entire food court that got shut down--every restaurant in the food court was disgusting. If you live in Toronto and have no standards, then you know the one i'm talking about--it charges $2.99 for a five item gross buffet of Asia food. They found rats there, live cockroaches, mice droppings--essentially, if you have eaten there, the residue of vermin and feces has been on your food. And I've eaten there! Hurrah for me and my gross mouth.
Next thing I know, I'm gonna find out that those cheap Chinese buns are filled with shredded hemmerhoids and not shredded pork at all, and that my gross Vietnamese Subs I sometimes buy are actually just cysts found on old people and put upon buns. Discovery is such an overrated thing.

Moving on, the show at the Drake Hotel on monday went real good. I should play after video art more, because it seems to lower people's enjoyment standards so far as to make my comedy look like the second coming of Ben Franklin. Whatever that means. I'm gonna try and do more jokes at the drake more often. Audiences have been really cool lately. Jer Finkelstein di some comedy too, and it went well, with a decently told joke with a punchline that was funny. That place is weird. I like it, but at the same time I am so annoyed by it. I like it because I want to be a yuppie. I am annoyed by it because everybody there seems to be on drugs I can't afford, be it delicious food and drink, or cocaine or delightfully expensive prescription meds. I do like the $2 photo booth though.
My pal Clarrie made a poster for L'Afterparty, and my next entry will be that poster in JPEG form.
And remember to go to my upcoming shows:

Thursday, July 1:
A short set at Rancho Relaxo during the 1000 songs evening. 'Tis
also free. Then afterward I'll see if I can do something at the Poor Alex's Ryan Horwood-led comedy night.

Saturday July 3
Brutal Knights, the band I'm in, is playing with Modern Machines, Fucked Up and The Bayonettes at The Fuse room on College St and Lipincott, just east of bathurst. It'll be $5 and probably start at 930 or 10. Please come.

THURSDAY JULY 8
This is the big one...

L'AFTERPARTY
TUNES SPUN BY:
DJ ILLARIOUS
DJ ANOUSHEH

COMEDY DONE BY:
NICK FLANAGAN
MAKESI ARTHUR
JARED SALES
KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE!COMEDY

CAMEO APPEARANCES BY:
ANDRE ETHIER AND CHRISTOPHER SANDES

PWYC


I'm sad that Olivia Chow lost the election in my area. I would have voted for her if I hadn't been too impatient to wait in the huge line.

3 comments:

PEE ON ME said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
PEE ON ME said...

You ate at those restaurants???????

Ewww!!!! ....You put your tongue in MY MOUTH!

...GROSH!!!!!

Flans said...

I don't call myself shamey for nothing.