Friday, December 04, 2009

Vernon Chatman, Interviewed. By me.

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So a little while ago I interviewed Vernon Chatman about his new comedic endeavour "Final Flesh".
That interview had to be cut for space, so I thought I'd put up the longer version here. I still omitted a couple of things, namely Vernon praising comediac Derrick Beckles, whom he produced the Totally 4 Teens pilot with for Adult Swim - Chatman feels it was Beckles' cuts that made the final product of T4T so enter"T4T"ning. He also claims a fondness for the work of Toronto comedian David Dineen-Porter, specifically his L'Brondelle's Universe series. It was an enjoyable conversation, and when I go to heaven, I pray that it comes with me...
I hope the sound levels are decent for this interview.
I only do interviews in megabass. The truth is in the low end. That's where all the spooks live. Do you hear that static?
Yeah. It could be on my end.
When I hear static, I get scared and wet my dress. I might bite you. If I show my teeth, back off. I don't mean it.
Final Flesh was an awesome idea.
It was an awesome idea, and then [watching it] all awesomeness went away?
The awesomeness 'went away' into my eyes while I watched and enjoyed it.
So you think that when something enters your eyes that it goes away? You think of your brain as a black hole?
I think my favorite of the four companies that made Final Flesh was the first group, with the baby outfit and the attempt to re-enter the womb.
That was probably my favorite too, because it was the first one we got back. When I watched it, I actually felt repulsion at myself. I wasn't prepared for that – but I got hooked.
Did the actors improvise dialogue to any extent?
No. We were very adamant that they stick totally to the script. There's like four words in the whole thing that are different. I was really adamant that the script was the fetish. The only real music and sounds on there are things that we had to just mix down. One of the companies used a Linkin Park song. It was beautiful. I got massive beef with Linkin Park. Huge, pendulous beef. Drooping beef with Linkin Park. It hurts too much to think about why, so I just sit and stare at my gigantic beef that I have with them.
There's a 2003 calendar on the fridge in a scene. Was set design in your hands as well?
Yes. You know how Orson Welles took 8 years to make Othello? It's like that. It was 2002, maybe 2001. Whatever the Othello production schedule was, ours was like that. It was very important for the story to see that years had gone by. You feel it in the air. In the first one it's like 'what's gonna happen with Iraq?' is in the air, and by the last one it's like 'when are we getting out of Afghanistan'. Every prop that we used was in the script. It was all a script to make [the actors] fail, basically. I figured everybody has a home or an apartment, so as long as I used the kitchen, or the bathroom or the dining room, I would be safe.
No deserts.
I feel like when you watch it, a desert forms in your mind. I know when I first started watching it, sand started dumping out of my mouth. Gallons of gallons of sand. Then out of my eyes – tons and tons of sand. That's what's supposed to happen. If someone buys a DVD and that doesn't happen, they should burn down a Wal-Mart.
When did you discover these customizable fetish websites?
A friend of mine had heard about them, and said 'you should make a music video like that', and I thought it'd be better to hear them talking. It's so much funnier to make porn actors talk.
To step away from the orifices for a moment.
Take stuff out of your holes and really feel, and create moods. Every porn actor is waiting for this moment to unplug their hole and let their heart sing.
You gave them days and days of a refreshingly sex-free life.
If there's a word that combines 'poetry' with 'favor', I don't even wanna know how to pronounce it. I'm just glad it exists.
Did Final Flesh wind up turning into an Orson Welles budgetary situation where it wound up costing more than you thought?
There's a wide variety of price points in this industry. The cheapest was $900, except for the first one – he agreed to http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif$900, because he didn't realise how long it would take. They're used to movies being an hour long, and taking 61 minutes to shoot. They didn't realise that with the dialogue and the cutting, they wound up being there all night, and the actors got really pissed and wouldn't leave his house until I agreed to give the actors all $100 each extra. All the other prices were pretty similar. I don't know what the price per stroke is, but it's low, believe me. In any good porn, a buck a stroke is industry standard.
Animation, puppets, Snoop Dogg or porn stars: who was the easiest to work with?
Porn stars are the easiest because they'll do anything (into any hole) and as long as they can pronounce it, they'll try and say your jokes as if they are totally serious. Snoop is in last place.
While watching it, did you ever get the sense that the actors understood that your lines were in fact, jokes?
I think that maybe in the second one there was a chance that there was some awareness that [it] was more complicated than just softcore fantasy porn from a strange person. Regardless of whether they were hip to what was happening or not, they had to commit or else it doesn't work. It was kind of interesting to see the spectrum. Some people commit like 'this is your thing', and it's really sincere, and it's beautiful and sweet that they would do that. The first group didn't try to interpret, they just executed it. The second ones -I think they tried to really interepret it and add something. But they all [added something], in their own way.
To be deadpan in those parts is key.
Any actor or comedian would be too aware that it was funny, but people doing jokes that they don't know are jokes – to me it's very funny, and it's hard to find that. Farming it out and letting someone fail, that's hopefully what works [with] Final Flesh.
There's a degree of making people do that in your work.
Puppeteering everything. But that's all that making shit is. It's making people or objects do what you want them to do. If you see any Hollywood movie or TV show that has actors in it, they're all doing the bidding of somebody. The examples you're using are more about that power dynamic, so I think it's more honest. You're laughing at the imbalance of power. The manipulation is on the surface, and that's part of the joke. If anyone got angry at me, they'd be part of the joke. People aren't that dumb. I wish! If we were wildly successful, people might get after us like that, but we're just moderately successful.
I liked the episode of Xavier["Chief Beef Loco"] where he becomes a gang member. I thought it was a nice reference to Grand Theft Auto-style gang animation.
I'd never played one of those videogames! People think it's playing with videogames or something, but for years me and John have loved the clumsiness of CG animation. Everything is human scale but it's all so weirdly clumsy, it's hilarious. The animation style is so lamely ambitious. When you leave these computer animation guys to their own devices, they always want to go to some cosmic place. It's so ugly, god damn it. Something about CG attracts a particular brand...I think it's animators who think they're not doing animation. Our animators were not really like that, but we did have to teach them that we liked stuff because it was shitty. We'd have to tell them 'go back to the clumsy, shitty thing'.
So on that end of things, you actually need people to 'get it'.
You can't be playing a trick on them, not when they're crafting things frame by frame.

Monday, November 23, 2009

THE FOURTH KIND


What more can I say than "watch this video and let me know what you think"?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Videos!!!

I don't post here enough, and when I do, it's generally to tell you about videos I've made or like. And so, here are some videos I've been involved with or like.

A review of The Art Of Seducing Difficult Women:

Then Graham Wagner and I made a cartoon called "Heads"


Also, I am a fan of Scottober and a fan of the new Fuppets cartoon

Friday, October 02, 2009

Cot' Damn...

How To Be A Serial Killer and more...
So I have a new Toro Pop Culture With Nick Flanagan episode...next edition will be shorter, so enjoy what we've got here:

Also, I have a Joke Club in Toronto Wednesday October 7 Please go.
Also, I wrote a column about Roman Polanski...This is it. Find out where my sympathies truly lie.
I will update again later and it will be so special.

Monday, August 31, 2009

New Stuff, New Things, A New Me


New Toro videroo

Been doing lots of shows, been doing lots of snuff snortin', been doing lots of copying and pasting, and have been considering becoming one of these "male burlesque dancers". All I need is some ka ching ka ching "$$$" type stuff so that I can buy some cock pasties. I said "pasties" not "pastries", sicko!!
xo
nick

Thursday, August 20, 2009

New SH*T!

OK you wackos. I wrote a new Toro column about Brad Pitt, Bob Dylan and Eric Dane. Hope you laugh. Also, lately I am listening to this Beastie Boys/Nas song and trying to figure out how much I like it. I like it, I know that. But I don't think I love it like I love my father. After I interviewed Raekwon, he assaulted notorious rappin' schlub Joe Budden. Thoughts? I think the worst part of it is that it's all in regards to a Vibe Magazine Top 50 list, and for some reason JB thinks he should be on it. That's like a piece of poop thinking it goes in the urinal. Can't we all just get along?
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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Raekwon Interview!



I interviewed Raekwon the Chef. It was fun.
I also reviewd a Jamie Foxx concert

New Toro Video!

Brand new Toro Video

Hope you like it.